I fill my head with beautiful thoughts, inspiring ideas. Empowering to combat the disempowering train I ride now through a long night with an end too far for me to see yet. I really need to have an in depth talk with the conductor. I think of Rumi's quote: "Darkness is your candle. Your boundaries are your quest."
I watched Anne of Green Gables yesterday. I read through the Maya Angelou book Manny got me for Christmas. I listen to music that gets me higher than any chemical drug. I think back to all the times I felt beautiful and loved by others, those times that confirmed the reflection I saw staring back at me was smiling from a place in her soul and not just stretching the corners of her mouth for appearances. I miss her and I know she is waiting inside of me to come back out.
While others may have left my life, she never truly left with them even though it feels like that right now.
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