Tears won't fucking stop

All I can do is cry and I don't know or want to look at why. There's something that got lost along the way and now that I've thought to search for it I can't find it. Images of that American Indian woman I once "remembered" being centuries ago spring to mind. I see her clawing at herself, wringing arms and pulling hair and neck. I still see the blood trickling down her brown skin, and why? Because she has just realized that the thing she was looking for can never be retrieved, forever lost. 

I can't stop crying. I have not been this stubbornly depressed in a long time. Often I can yank myself out of it in short time but the quicksand effect pulling back this time has greater force than times past. It worries me. I either want to hide away from everything and everyone or drive far, far away. Neither seems progress toward any end at all and I need to get a hold of myself.