Monday, May 25, 2015

Vague war

There is a tremendous war inside of me.

I am tempted to destroy everything I know about Chance.
Good. Bad. Semi awkward. Embarrassing. Endearing. Obnoxious.

Then I'll throw my heart into a knapsack flung over my shoulder. To keep it from burning a hole through my spine which I need to stay standing.

In my fantasy, I just walk away. Toward a new life. In another place. Other people. Maybe become a hermit that wanders, a new brand my family has yet to produce. Slash and burn agriculture that shit.

But I'm startled at what interrupts my daydream.

I don't hate Chance enough to destroy her or what she's become. Actually, I am beginning to like her a little bit and at least accept her emotional and so called right brained ways. Even as she makes questionable choices. I've got to give her that space. That freedom to live and fail and love.


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